Life is awkward...yea
I have fallen head-over-heels in love with Mandy the market-trader from Milton Keynes. She smells of hot dogs and counterfeit perfume.
On our first date, I decided to woo Mandy with some Greek mythology I’d recently read: 'In the beginning,' I explained, 'all human beings were hermaphrodites with four hands and four legs and two faces turned in opposite directions on the same head. These hermaphrodites were so powerful and their pride so self-absorbed that Zeus [the supreme god] was forced to cut them in two - into a male and female half. And from that day, each man and each woman has yearned to rejoin the half from which he or she has been severed'.
Mandy told me to stop being drippy.
'But I think you're my severed half,' I cried.
Mandy did not reply. And we spent the rest of the evening in a disastrous silence.
http://www.abeautifulrevolution.com/
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